Pairing: KyuHae [Kyuhyun/Donghae]
Rating: R [NC-17 in future chapters]
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone.
Summary: He didn’t want Kyuhyun to just take his breath away. He wanted him to snatch it away, take it by force. Smother him.
1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // 18 // 19 // 20 // 21 // 22
When Eunhyuk had invited him to come over after school, he’d said yes without really thinking too much into it. At math tutorials, he texted Kyuhyun to let him know he couldn’t come over and then waited a bit anxiously for a reply. As he walked to Eunhyuk’s car with him, he called Kyuhyun but it went straight to voicemail.
“When are you getting back into athletics?” Eunhyuk asked as he ducked into his car next to Donghae.
“I don’t think I am,” Donghae replied, watching out the window for Kyuhyun to come out of the gym. But he didn’t see Kyuhyun as Eunhyuk left the school, jabbering away about Donghae missing out on track and baseball.
“I don’t play baseball,” Donghae mumbled, checking his phone for a message from Kyuhyun. When he made it to Eunhyuk’s house without any word from Kyuhyun, he decided that Kyuhyun probably didn’t care.
They vegetated on the couch and played video games, Eunhyuk taking the time to teach Donghae a few tips and tricks since he was still fairly new to it all.
Donghae’s phone started to vibrate in his pocket and he pulled it out, expecting a call from his mom but seeing Kyuhyun’s name on his screen. He rolled his eyes, irritated that Kyuhyun had called knowing he was probably already at Eunhyuk’s house, and ignored the call. Not even a few moments after he’d shoved the phone back into his pocket did Kyuhyun call again, and Donghae ignored it a second time.
“That your mom?” Eunhyuk asked, having noticed Donghae messing with his phone.
“Nah, it’s Kyuhyun,” Donghae replied with a bit of exasperation.
Eunhyuk snorted and kept playing.
Later on, they migrated to some sort of office so that Eunhyuk could show him a video on the internet.
“You can sit in that chair. Just move my bag,” Eunhyuk said as he pointed to a chair and sat down at his desk.
Donghae picked up the bag by the strap without realizing it was completely unzipped, and as he pulled it upwards the contents fell out onto the floor. “Oh shit,” he mumbled and then kneeled to start picking up. “Sorry,” he said, but the word kind of died in his mouth as he picked up a clear plastic bag with a green, leafy substance in it.
Eunhyuk grabbed the bag from him and shoved it back into his backpack. “Don’t tell Sungmin,” he said sheepishly, but with a sort of grave seriousness about him. “He thinks I quit.”
“Why not tell him?” Donghae asked.
“He’d bitch about it. He thinks I turn into a different person sometimes,” Eunhyuk replied and set the backpack in the chair. “I’d just rather not deal with him knowing.”
“He’s your friend,” Donghae pressed on, eyebrows furrowed a bit.
“He’s my best friend,” Eunhyuk corrected, “but he doesn’t have to know everything.”
“Don’t you think maybe you should tell him something like that, though? I mean he really cares about that kind of stuff,” Donghae argued, feeling a sort of loyalty to Sungmin.
“Oh and I guess your best friend tells you everything? He ever tell you he gets high with me and Shindong almost every weekend, sometimes more? Did he tell you about all the parties he goes to? Or are you still under the impression that Kyuhyun is one of those people that only does that shit every once in a while?” Eunhyuk paused for a while with his eyes locked on Donghae’s until he shook his head and sat down. “He doesn’t tell you because he knows you wouldn’t agree with it. That’s why I don’t tell Sungmin.”
“How is that possible?” Donghae asked incredulously. “I’m with him just about every weekend.”
“You stay the night at with him every single night?” Eunhyuk asked, almost rhetorically.
“Well – no, but –”
“Well there you go.”
Donghae frowned. “Why are you so angry about this?” he asked quietly.
“Because you’ll fucking go off and tell Sungmin. I know you two talk,” Eunhyuk breathed, rubbing a frustrated hand on the back of his neck.
Donghae’s phone started vibrating, and this time it was his mom. He opened the text and read that she wanted him to come home to help her with something. Once he’d replied, he looked back to Eunhyuk. “I have to go,” he said. “But I want you to know that it’s none of my business to go tattling on you to Sungmin. Maybe he’s the type to spill everything he knows, but I’m not.”
Eunhyuk stared at him blankly for a while and then smiled. “That’s right. I forget you can keep a secret,” he said finally. “See you later.”
He left Eunhyuk’s house and was a bit surprised to see Kyuhyun’s car at his house when he pulled up, but not his mom’s. He went inside and looked around for his mom, but saw no one on the first floor.
He meandered into the kitchen to look for a note and then spotted her cell phone plugged up to the charger on the counter.
“Back so soon?”
Donghae jumped slightly and exhaled as he saw Kyuhyun in the doorway. “What are you doing here?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s a wonder,” Kyuhyun stated, ignoring Donghae’s question, “how you can’t answer my calls twice in a row, but you can reply to your mom’s text message.”
It took a few moments for Donghae to put two and two together. It wasn’t uncommon for his mom to forget her cell phone, as she left it plugged up in the kitchen instead of in her bedroom. And he vaguely recalled her stating that she was working late that night.
“You texted me from my mom’s phone?” Donghae asked with disbelief.
“You ignored two of my calls,” Kyuhyun stated and advanced into the kitchen. “How is Eunhyuk?” he asked, but he didn’t sound at all interested in Eunhyuk’s wellbeing.
“Why didn’t you just text back when I sent it?” Donghae asked, moving out of the kitchen. He couldn’t let Kyuhyun corner him.
“Why didn’t you just answer my call?” Kyuhyun asked, following Donghae up the stairs and into his bedroom.
“Go home.” Donghae turned around and tried to block Kyuhyun’s entrance to his bedroom. “You’re insane.”
He could almost see Kyuhyun’s blood boiling. “What makes you think you can talk to me like that?” he demanded, his voice low and menacing.
Donghae rolled his eyes and tried to push Kyuhyun from the room. But Kyuhyun’s hands clenched around his wrists and shoved him backwards as he stepped in and closed the door, locking it. “You’re not my mom,” Donghae stated. “I can talk to you however I want.”
“Mighty big words,” Kyuhyun hissed, one of his hands grabbing Donghae by the waistband and jerking him forward. “Feeling rebellious today because you got away with going to Eunhyuk’s?”
“What the hell is your problem?” Donghae asked, trying to separate himself away from Kyuhyun with struggling arms.
Kyuhyun’s fingers tangled in Donghae’s hair and grasped it as he pulled their faces within centimeters of each other. “Are you trying to get revenge for Friday night? Did you decide you were going to try and teach me a lesson?” he asked, his words breathing air against Donghae’s lips.
“I have better things to think about,” Donghae gritted out, his eyes uncontrollably dropping to Kyuhyun’s mouth.
Kyuhyun tugged their mouths together, their teeth clashing as he shoved his tongue into Donghae’s mouth.
For some unknown reason, Donghae didn’t find himself wanting to stop. He was angry at Kyuhyun for using his mom’s phone, angry at him for not just responding in the first place. He didn’t know why Kyuhyun was in such a foul mood, but he didn’t care.
Kyuhyun pissed off was just as good as Kyuhyun happy.
Kyuhyun’s mouth turned slow and languid, like he’d run out of energy. He walked Donghae backwards until they fell onto the bed, Kyuhyun settling comfortably between Donghae’s legs.
Donghae just wanted to lay there kissing Kyuhyun for the rest of eternity. He never wanted to leave Kyuhyun’s lips, never wanted to stop feeling that tongue with his. He loved the way his weight felt between his legs, the way his back felt under his hands, the way he could feel Kyuhyun’s chest move against his as he breathed.
Kyuhyun pulled away for air and fluidly rolled onto his back, pulling Donghae on top of him. As Donghae looked down at Kyuhyun, he could see that the anger had drained from his face, and he only looked exhausted. He could see dark circles under Kyuhyun’s tired, dull eyes. He realized Kyuhyun was finished with him for now and sank downwards to lay close next to him, his head under Kyuhyun’s chin.
As Donghae traced a finger over Kyuhyun’s chest, he closed his eyes and just listened to him breathe. “What’s the matter?” he asked softly. He hadn’t exactly counted on his voice sounding that tender, that concerned. It bothered him that he could be so kind to this asshole.
“I’m staying the night,” Kyuhyun stated. The hand he let rest on Donghae’s arm squeezed just slightly and then released.
“Do you have any clothes?” Donghae asked.
Donghae tilted his head up and pressed a short kiss to Kyuhyun’s neck. “Come on. I’ll take you to your house.”
Like civilized human beings and a complete contrast to their earlier attitudes, they made their way downstairs and ran through the cold to Donghae’s car. As Donghae switched on the heater, Kyuhyun stared out the window, his mind in a distant place.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Kyuhyun turned to him with an unreadable expression, his lips parting slightly on the verge on saying something. But then he turned away and went back to gazing out the window. “Just drive,” he stated.
Donghae didn’t press the issue, only pulled out of his driveway and took Kyuhyun home. He waited in the car while Kyuhyun gathered his things, wordlessly watched as Kyuhyun sank back into the passenger seat.
“Let’s go to the mall. See a movie.” Kyuhyun shoved the bag between the seats and into the back seat.
Nodding, Donghae headed for the mall. He couldn’t subdue the feeling that something was seriously wrong, though he had a feeling it had little to do with him. It was none of his business why Kyuhyun had showed up to his house in a shit mood, none of his business why Kyuhyun seemed completely blank.
But somehow it felt like his business.
He didn’t ask Kyuhyun if he wanted anything, simply ordered them each a drink and some popcorn at the theater concession stand. He forked over the cash and turned to Kyuhyun with his hands full.
“Thanks,” Kyuhyun said as he took his drink from Donghae’s hand.
And that’s when Donghae really wanted to know who this imposter was and what he’d done with his Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun – the one he knew at least – did not say thank you. He didn’t express any sort of gratitude, ever.
After a moment of utter shock, complete inability to process anything except what the fuck for an entire minute, he turned and caught up with Kyuhyun on his way down the hallway. He followed Kyuhyun into the dark theater where he could hear the previews playing already and trailed behind him up the stairs all the way to almost the top.
“Are you okay?” Donghae asked as they had sat down, unable to resist any longer. He knew Kyuhyun wouldn’t tell him if there was, but it was worth asking.
“Yes. Stop asking,” Kyuhyun grumbled as he lifted the arm rest and leaned over to rest his head on Donghae’s shoulder.
“Why can’t you just tell me?”
“Shh…” Kyuhyun breathed.
Donghae swallowed, vividly aware of Kyuhyun’s hand as it slid over the top of his leg and pressed its palm against the inside of his thigh. He watched with slowed breathing for any further movement, but when nothing happened, he breathed a silent sigh of relief. He squished his hand between Kyuhyun’s hand and his own leg and laced their fingers, smiling just a bit when he felt Kyuhyun’s thumb brush leisurely over his.
Throughout the movie, Kyuhyun’s thumb glided over the length of his until it slowed to a stop and Donghae wondered if maybe he’d fallen asleep. He could care less about the movie they’d picked on a whim just because it was the next showing, or about the people a few rows above him. He listened to Kyuhyun’s deep, even breathing and gently tilted his head to the side to press his cheek into soft hair.
He couldn’t honestly convince himself that he wished Kyuhyun was always like this. Maybe he could accept Kyuhyun always being calm like this, always so willing to cuddle, but he didn’t like seeing Kyuhyun so far away, so zoned out.
He wanted those playful grins, those snarky little comments. He wanted those moments of bliss when Kyuhyun was just being himself, those moments that made his heart jump as Kyuhyun stared at him with unreadable eyes that seemed to be absorbing him, those moments of intoxication when Kyuhyun kissed him like he actually wanted to.
He just wanted the real Kyuhyun.
A while later, Donghae shook Kyuhyun awake carefully as the credits began to roll up the screen. They left the theater, Kyuhyun never letting go of his hand, even as they walked through the busy mall lanes and into the freezing parking lot.
“You hungry?” Donghae asked once they were in his car and on the road.
“Not really,” Kyuhyun replied.
He pulled into a drive thru anyways because he was starving. He ordered a bit extra in case Kyuhyun got hungry, and after he got their food he headed back to his house.
Kyuhyun went upstairs to his room automatically, but he turned off into his mom’s bathroom and found the thermometer before trudging up the stairs and into his room. He walked up in front of Kyuhyun, who sat hunched over on the edge of the bed and looked up upon his arrival.
Donghae held the thermometer out for Kyuhyun to take, but he only batted his hand away and tipped his face downwards stubbornly. Donghae put a knee on the bed and reached to hold Kyuhyun’s chin in one hand and tilt his face back up.
“I’m not sick,” Kyuhyun stated and Donghae rolled his eyes.
“Humor me,” Donghae said. He smiled faintly as Kyuhyun let him push the thermometer between his lips to take his temperature.
Kyuhyun eyed the thermometer in front of his face and then lifted his gaze to Donghae’s. He may have stared longer if the thermometer hadn’t gone off moments later with a reading.
Donghae slid the thermometer out of Kyuhyun’s mouth and read it, relieved at the good results. “You don’t have a fever,” he said.
“No shit,” Kyuhyun snapped, but there wasn’t much heat behind it.
Donghae turned away and went to eat his late dinner at his desk chair. He watched silently as Kyuhyun stood and changed into sleeping clothes, and then slid under the covers right in the middle of the bed. He stared at Kyuhyun’s back as he ate, his mind in a million places at once.
Kyuhyun rolled over onto his back and met Donghae’s stare. “Why do you care so much?”
He looked down at his food as an escape from meeting those eyes. “You know why,” he replied and took another bite of his food.
“Is it because you love me?”
His heart leapt inside of him, pounding against the inside of his ribcage like a bird trying to escape its cage. He couldn’t bring himself to answer, to even look at Kyuhyun. He picked up the crumbled wrapper from his food and left the room.
He threw away his trash in the kitchen and then took a shower. By the time he’d come out, Kyuhyun was passed out, his arms and legs sprawled out on the bed. He pulled on some clothes, taking all the time in the world, and then turned to the bed where Kyuhyun lay sleeping, his face peaceful and angelic in the yellow glow of the lamplight from Donghae’s bedside table.
He crept under the covers and gingerly moved Kyuhyun’s arm so that he could lay his head down on his own pillow. He turned out the light and closed his eyes. He didn’t lie near Kyuhyun, didn’t touch him in any way.
He knew he’d wake up in the morning wrapped in Kyuhyun’s arms, anyways.